What’s up, fellow gamers. Today we get to talk about the game that almost made us quit writing reviews — no joke. Fair warning, there isn’t anything but two positive aspects to this game. So this is going to be ugly. We warned you.

Umbrella Corps is a hellish multi-headed beast from hell, bent on the metal break down of Resident Evil fans and driving them to be $30 more broke.

To start, this is a third person action shooter that seems to be the sequel of the genre spin off, Raccoon City, although you can’t really tell because there is no story, as in no cut scenes, no plot, no nothing. It only has words that you need to read, which seems to be written by an eight-year-old. Again, not joking.

You play the role of a generic Umbrella soldier as the only soldier with an actual name, which is, (ready for this?) Abraham Jackson. The 3 hour single player campaign (yes, 3 hours), is called Experiment, and that it does with your sanity. You play 24 levels that seem to all look like the last. All 24 missions have the same objective; find the contaminated DNA sample. And when we say all 24 levels, we mean all 24 levels. If this wasn’t taxing already, you have to contend with the zombies coming out of no where and flooring you. It’s not because the game is particularly high in difficulty, but because the camera is so closely pulled in behind the character, you have no idea of what’s going on around you until your enemy is too close for comfort.

The mechanics are average at best. The weapons are serviceable, but the movement mechanics are robotic and slow, and the shooting mechanics are questionable. For example, when you’re walking around killing the zombies, you are better off shooting them in the legs than in the head, because when you head tap them the death animation is too long to give you a chance to collect your DNA sample. Most of the time, you also get blind sighted from your left side by another creature. See where this is going? At the long end of this horrific track, you get decals for your solider. Hooray!

The player versus player (PvP) gameplay is broken and unbalanced. You get a variety of weapons, but there is one weapon that tops them all, called the Brainer Combat Axe — think of a scary looking hook blade. This gives players the ability to lunge a few feet and impale their enemy in the head with one shot. It’s so over powered that really no player seems to use anything else when in a match.

However, that’s if you get into a match. On the day this game released, we spent 15 minutes trying to load into one match, and that’s on launch day. With the match you have 3-on-3 death matches that takes place in Resident Evil fan favorite sights from previous installments, which is one of the two high points of the game. The soldier can’t take a bit of damage from anything else other than guns. You can take a shotgun blast to the face. But when the most god awful enemy type, the crows are out, your royally screwed. There is a cover system that is on the bit of the head stretching side. Because last time we checked, zombies don’t shoot at you. But what about the other players you ask? Hahaha. Wait, the rabbit hole goes deeper. With the above mention Brainer weapon, if you find yourself squatting for too long, you will get owed by another player because of those camera issues. Apparently, zombies use sonar to find their victims. Because you can go around the map with them just leaving you be because you have a zombie jammer. As we said, down the hole we go. When you damage a players jammer or get yours destroyed, zombies are free to rip you apart.

The multi player is where the focus of this game is and this is where the game does those two things right. but, let’s save that for last.

There are two multi player modes that frankly many other games have done way better this year. So there’s not a lot to sink your teeth into. Until you get to the other pro. As you play, you receive many different weapons, gear and decals to customize your soldier how you see fit. It’s a real shame that the game play is in the state it’s in because the unlocking system could have kept players going for the long haul.

Our advice, if your not the biggest die hard fan of all things Resident Evil, avoid this like the plague. Even if you are, seriously consider your choice and/or actions wisely. Wait until this drops to about less than $7 in the bargain bin, and maybe even a trade-in to go with that. We really hope you guys read this in time before you buy this game, and if your one of the people that unfortunately fell victim to this awful game, then please seek help as soon as possible. This was unfortunately a sad attempt at a cheap cash grab in the hopes to appeal to devoted fans.

We give this game a 2 out of 10.

Happy gaming.